The real reason why having children is the biggest barrier to women’s career progression

Talking to a colleague recently, we reflected on how having children marks the moment in most women’s lives when their careers go on hold.  As Joan Williams writes “while some women stand nose pressed against the glass ceiling, many working mothers never get near it.  What stops them is the ‘maternal wall’.” 

The ‘maternal wall’ describes the patterns of bias and discrimination that are specifically targeted at mothers.  You might have been highly successful and well regarded prior to having children. Sadly all this changes once you are pregnant.  At that point a whole set of questions are raised about your commitment and capabilities. Just think of the language of ‘baby brain’ to get an idea. The consequence is that mothers do not have the same progression pathways at work as women without children and also those of – yes, you know – men.

All the research evidence in the world backs this up.  In an analysis of employment pathways and occupational change after childbirth, Susan Harkness, Magda Borkowska and Alina Pelikh found that what impacts women’s progression is “a reduction in the probability of upgrading”. In other words, the majority of women with children tend to find themselves stuck where they are prior to the birth of their first child.  Five years after childbirth, just 13% of women have moved to a role with a higher occupational status.  For men, it is 26%.

One explanation for this is that this is caused by maternal stereotyping.  This leads far too many people to assume that once you have a child your ambition has some kind of melt down.  It is taken as read that any hopes and dreams you might have had for a career will go out of the window as it is now family first.  

You can find evidence of this in these, usually kindly-meant, reactions to women with children:

·      Colleagues, family and friends assume that you don’t want to miss the important years of your child’s life so encourage you to go part-time or put your career on hold for a few years.  This form of maternal stereotyping is everywhere and we are all caught up in it.  As a mother, or father, you will feel this too.  Hold that thought.

·      Without checking with you, your manager assumes you will want to rush off at the end of the day to be with your child and not stay for an out-of-hours event. Or they are thinking your focus and energy is primarily toward your family so they don’t offer you that project that will expand your skills and increase your visibility.  The result is that this prevents you from having the very opportunities that will enable you to stand out.

There is nothing wrong with these explanations as it is the case that the notion of the ‘good mother’ that is behind all this maternal stereotyping is alive and well.  And woe betide the mother who does not live up to this ideal and risks showing some career ambition.

However. 

Let’s look at this another way. 

Let’s consider a rather overlooked fundamental of contemporary working life.  It is one that reinforces the decision to go part-time or take a back seat. This is the general culture of overwork that harms both women and men. 

Organisations operate on the assumption that employees have no other responsibilities apart from their paid employment.  As paid workers we are seen as zero-loaded.  This gives rise to expectations that you need to be able to put in excessively long hours and have complete dedication to the job - particularly at more senior levels – if you are to progress at all.  

A long-hours culture is a feature of working life in universities.  Even before the pandemic that has wrought an enormous toll on women with caring responsibilities, a 2018 Times Higher Education survey found that “31 per cent of scholars and 27 per cent of administrators typically work on both days over the weekend. Nearly half of academics typically work one day at the weekend (49 per cent) [and] just over a third of professionals (37 per cent).”  As one head of department is reported as saying “the workload and responsibility [of academic life] are incompatible with having a family”.

Robin Ely and Irene Padavic’s research highlights how damaging this is for both women and men.  In their study men reported feeling guilty and sad about missing key events in their children’s lives whether that was watching them play football, going to school events, being home before their children were in bed, and so on.  Yet none of these men sought part-time or flexible working or a role that meant their hours were more regular.  Rather, they employed the psychological mechanism of splitting feelings of guilt and sadness and projected these onto mothers at work as a form of empathy for their situation.

It is not only long working hours that are the problem.  The experience of working in higher education for many is of a relentless myriad of simultaneous demands that mean that you never feel you are on top of anything.   Gabriele Griffin uses the term “work-work” balance – or indeed imbalance - to draw attention to this phenomenon. Her research sheds light on the impossibility of managing your time when faced with multiple concurrent demands –teaching; administration; committee attendance; external partnership working; project work; publication; impact delivery; peer reviewing; applying for funding; applying for jobs; multiple reports with the same deadline to produce; and so on.  This leaves women feeling they are underperforming and living fragmented lives.  

The reality is that both work and family are greedy institutions and this is the heart of the problem.  Both – rightly - demand attention and, as much as we might try to stretch time or squeeze ourselves into impossible schedules, there really are only so many hours in a day.  This is a key reason why women take part-time roles or opt for more back-seat ones and indeed, due to maternal stereotyping, are encouraged to do so.  Because it is completely impossible to fit in the hours required of paid work and family in a twenty-four hours period.  And, of course, putting family first accords demonstrates how you are such a ‘good mother’ so the decision feels right all round.

The sting in the tail is that this is where HR policies designed to support women at work actually work against them.  Those very policies – flexible and part-time working and maternity leave – work to side line women as the non-committed and unambitious (as do paternity leave policies which is a major reason why men don’t take these opportunities). It is no wonder women with children experience slow progress in their careers. 

Challenging the pervasiveness of a long-hours and fragmented working culture is easier said than done.  I certainly have no easy solution to offer as it requires a revolution in our thinking.  It requires us to put paid work in its place as part of our lives and not the whole of our lives.  I’m afraid I can’t see that happening anytime soon.  Indeed the sponsors of Ely and Padavic’s research rejected their findings that it was the long hours culture that was at the root of the problem.  These findings didn’t fit the sponsors’ dominant view that the main reason women opted out of work was because they wanted to spend time with their families.  Such is the depth of maternal stereotyping that they could not accept that women are placed in the impossible situation of having two over-demanding jobs.

At the individual level there are of course things that can be done.  Those in positions of authority and power can do a considerable amount by signalling their own unwillingness to work an 80+ hour week.  Universities could review their promotion and progression pathways with a view to how these are supporting those who work part-time.

For those who are newly pregnant or returning to work after maternity leave, you can do no better than to use the resources provided by Joan Williams.  Her advice?  That you should signal your commitment as soon as you return from maternity leave by meeting your manager and setting out your short and long-term career goals.  

It is also possible to change the world if we raise our consciousness and those around us and work together.  Take a look at - and direct your colleagues to - the resources for individuals, teams and organisations at biasinterrupters.org. 

And finally, we can take a lesson from the Pregnantthenscrewed campaign and pin their mission into your email signature.  Here it is:

“We believe in a world where women are not judged for the contents of their womb, or the hours they work, or the fact that they have porridge in their hair and smell of Sudocrem, but for their skills and talents. We believe in a world where stay-at-home parents are valued for their contribution to society. We believe in a world where both parents are encouraged to spend time with their children. We believe in a world where childcare is free and is the best it can possibly be for all children and all those who care for our children. We believe in a world where both parents contribute equally to the running of a household whilst achieving their own ambitions. We believe that mothers deserve better and we believe that if we work together we can, and we will, create change.”