How to be more effective in meetings in five easy steps

“[This] research identifies meetings as a critical site where, as individuals interact, to solve problems and make decisions, they also compete for visibility. Leadership potential is identified or, alternatively, dismissed in meetings where participants test their relative standing in what is essentially a “status arena” (Jay, 1999:30). How an individual manages the impression they make on others functions to show case their leadership capability, especially if more senior people are present.”

(Margaret Byrne, 2004, Workplace meetings and the silencing of women)

For women, meetings can be particularly tricky.  Not only do we have to deal with mansplaining and manterrupting. There are further ways in which we are silenced or silence ourselves. As Margaret notes, meetings operate through narrow, traditionally masculine norms.  This stands at odds with women’s communication preferences which are more likely to draw on collegiality and collaboration.  The rather standard masculine communication model of tough competitiveness also creates inequalities for all those from other cultural backgrounds as well as for those men who are not comfortable with these norms.

As Margaret Byrne’s research finds, meetings are important places for the recognition of your leadership and promotion potential. They are performative spaces where your credibility is constantly being assessed.  This is why, despite the fact that pretty much most of us loathe the inordinate amount of time we spend in meetings, they matter.

So what to do?  Here are five steps that you can make that can help.

Step One - Reject the thought that to get on you have to change your communication style to a more masculine one.

If your approach is strongly collegial and collaborative know that this is just what contemporary workplaces need.  What might be helpful, however, is to do two things:  develop a better understanding of the dominant styles in your workplace;

Consider which you find more and which less effective; and understand your own style preference and extend it.   

If you are up for this, then read on.

Step Two – Observe the ‘how’ of others talk and its effect on you. 

I worked with a colleague who always impressed me with his style in meetings.  He actually said very little until the end of a discussion or indeed toward the end of a meeting.  He then summarised everything that had been said in terms of a balanced and objective evaluation the meeting discussion.  He then suggested a ‘what next’.  He always came across as authoritative with a good sense of judgement.  Needless to say, nine times out of ten the meeting agreed with his ‘what next’.  I always thought his style was seriously clever. 

For the next two or three meetings you go to, plan to be more of an observer than a participant.  Your task is to focus far less on what is said – our usual mode.  It is to listen to how things are said – and importantly how you are responding to this style.  This is because the “how” is key to the impression that your colleagues are creating.  What impression is this person making on you? 

Taking notes of the ‘how’, and your judgement of that person, can really help you develop your own meeting effectiveness skills.  How are your colleagues presenting their ideas, thoughts, passions and demands – what is their style?  Are you finding their approach effective, powerful, persuasive, helpful or indeed a turn-off and so forth.

• To help you, you might check out the VoicePrint model as this provides a neat framework against which you can record your findings.  This identifies nine categories of talk:  inquire; probe; evaluate; direct; challenge; advise; advocate; articulate; diagnose, together with a note of how they impact on others. 

Step Three - Observe your own style of talk.

For your next two or three meetings, try to observe your own style of talk.  If this is impossible, ask a trusted colleague to do this for you.  What is your default approach?  VoicePrint would suggest that, in their typology, women have a preference for the Inquiry mode.  This is described as:

• The inquire voice obtains its power from the sense of open-mindedness that it conveys. The Inquire voice draws its influence on others through asking questions, without preconceptions, and listening proactively.

Is this you?  Which of the VoicePrint categories do you use? 

Step Four – Review your notes. 

At this point, you should have two sets of notes:

• Speaking styles of your colleagues and your responses to them in terms of their effectiveness and the impressions they leave. 

• Your own preferred speaking style(s) in meetings.

Look at your data and consider:

o   Are there are any differences across gender or other diversity lines?

o   Which styles struck you as the most impressive/persuasive/compelling?

o   When you look at your own preferences, how do they map to the talk of others?

o   Can your own preferences be extended.

Step Five – Practice alternative styles. 

If you find that you are stuck in one or two modes, begin to extend your repertoire.  Plan this ahead by considering the agenda of the next meeting you are going to and ask yourself two things: 

o   Which item on the agenda are you going to speak to/comment on/etc?

o   Which VoicePrint style would be appropriate through which to frame your comments?   

Then just give it a go! 

with loads of good wishes to you,  

Christina

February 2023

Professor Christina Hughes is Founder and CEO of Women-Space Leadership Limited.  You can find out more about her here.