How to calm those nerves and build that confidence: the art of anchoring

Do you get nervous in interviews?  Or suddenly find your confidence fail?  I can start off confidently and then a question sends me off kilter. 

What to do – short of giving up going for interviews?

This was the problem I took to the amazing Lisa Akesson who was coaching me at the time.  She taught me this incredible technique – anchoring.

Anchoring is a trigger or stimulus that we can use to recall a desired emotional state. It is a neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) technique and is based on the theory that when something is anchored, our body and mind react in a nano-second -without conscious thinking.  These triggers can be the whole range of visual, sound, touch, smell and taste. You only need to think of a song that is dear to you or a smell that takes you back to a particular moment to get the idea of this.

Although triggers are occurring all the time and without us realising until something stimulates them, we can deliberately create triggers that can be useful for us.  This is where anchoring a particular feeling state, memory or emotion comes in.

Here is how to proceed:

o   Choose a ‘trigger’ that will help you anchor and retrieve the feeling state you are seeking. When I did this exercise with Lisa I put each third finger of both hands on each thumb.

o   Focus on a time when you were in the state you want to anchor.  In my case, I wanted to overcome nerves and so thought back to when I was absolutely at peace with the world.  It was a spring day, circa 2019, and I had been gardening.  I came in around four in the afternoon and, with a glass of wine in hand, switched on the tv programme the Repair Shop.  There is something about the theme tune of that programme that I find soothing.  I experienced an intense moment of contentment – physically tired and at peace, the sun still warm outside.  It was a glorious feeling.

o   Really – really – focus your mind on that moment.  Take yourself back.

o   Now ‘anchor’ that feeling with your trigger.  Hold that position and those thoughts for a few moments.

o   Repeat.  Several times.  To really anchor a feeling requires repetition.

That is all there is to it. 

You can test how well your feeling state is anchored by using your trigger.  Anytime I put my third fingers on my thumbs, I immediately go back to that time.  It is wonderful. 

Sending lots of positive thoughts to you,

Christina

Professor Christina Hughes is Founder and CEO of Women-Space Leadership Limited.   You can find more about here here.

If you need any support, Women-Space is here for you.  To book a free consultation, just email me at christina@women-space.co.uk.